A Whole New World
by nightnovice
Summary: It has been two years since he walked away at her graduation and so much has changed. She has been through tragedy and he wasn't there. Can they be there for each other now after being apart so very long? Can they learn to trust and Love again? [Rory and Logan] (AU)
1. Chapter 1 - Questions

It has been two years since he walked away at her graduation and so much has changed. She has been through tragedy and he wasn't there. Can they be there for each other now after being apart so very long? Can they learn to trust and Love again? [Rory and Logan] (AU)

Disclaimer: So not mine, just a musing my mind spun out.

A/N: Hello again, here is another tale. I hope you all enjoy!

 **A Whole New World**

 **Chapter 1 – Questions**

He walked in to the party, obviously a man in control, he spied her across the room, it had only been a short two years but she looked different, poised even. He sauntered to the bar and ordered a Macallan all while subtly eyeing her in the mirror behind the bartender. He scanned her body, the dress fit her like a glove, skimming every curve subtly. The dress was obviously designed especially for her and he recalled hearing, from Honor, she had a stylist now, she looked it. He turned from the bar and sipped his scotch now eyeing her directly, as if she felt his gaze she turned and looked directly at him and he made his way towards her. He watched as a tall handsome blonde man approached her and laid his hand on her back then whispered something in her ear causing her to smile. She had just finished introducing him to the group she was with just as he arrived.

"Hey Ace, long time." He extended his hand and she took it, he bowed lightly and kissed her knuckles.

She felt the familiar tingles, Logan, nice to see you, it has been quite a while. " She took a subtle breath, "Gentlemen, allow me to make the introductions, Logan Huntzberger, Huntzberger Publishing, she then proceeded to introduce the group to him, "Logan, this is Perry Phillips of the New York Times, James Scott New York Post, Carl York of the Boston Herald and Tristan Dugrey of Hayden Dugrey Law. Logan and I go way back, we knew each other at Yale he and I were both on the paper, funny enough Tristan and I met in school as well only it was high school, Chilton, small world, right?"

The conversation returned to the topic of politics and the pros and cons of a national health option. It was all flowing along smoothly while the two blondes sized each other up. Tristan had of course heard of the erstwhile heir and his proposal and subsequent break up with Rory. Logan had no knowledge of Dugrey, but he didn't like the way his hand rested on Rory's back either. The group broke apart as others joined in and were greeted, introduced and the basics of a networking event accomplished, the whole while neither man seemed to leave her side. Rory looked at the clock and was happy to see it may finally be coming to a close, the proximity of Logan all evening and the possessiveness of Tristan were both wearing her thin.

"Well Rory", Logan began, "Can I speak with you for a moment, privately?" He eyed the man at her side with a slight challenge, and she nodded. Tristan reluctantly let her go. Logan led her towards the terrace and out the glass doors, once the doors shut and he felt they had a bit of privacy he took a breath and began to speak with her.

"I'd like to take you for coffee, you know to catch up, or we could share a meal if you prefer, but I really want to see you again. I have only just returned from overseas to take over the helm from the New York offices and I could always use a friend in the city." He looked at her with hope in his eyes as he took her hands in his, confirming the lack of a ring.

The familiar chill when down her spine and she longed to lean in and kiss him, she had missed him, but he had hurt her so badly. "Do you think that's wise, I mean with all that happened?"

"Rory, I won't lie, I was an ass, I was a young man, who failed to keep his word, we were supposed to factor each other in and I didn't I made unilateral decisions and you were right to say no, I want to catch up, maybe we can see if we can at least be friends and I know our old friends would love to see you. What do you say, coffee?" His eyes had that soft pleading look she was so familiar with.

Rory wondered why he was bringing up the proposal when she had been through so much more than just that., "You know I never say no to coffee, that's not fair." She pretended to pout, "here's my card, she stopped for a moment and took a pen from her bag and wrote her cell number on the back, then handed it to him. "My personal cell number is on the back, I look forward to coffee." She leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I missed you Logan, welcome back." Logan noted a melancholia in her tone. She opened the doors and returned to Tristan who was waiting with her wrap and they left together.

Logan watched the pair with interest, there was obviously a protective air about him and she leaned in for his support, but it didn't look romantic, he wondered what was going on there.

Mitchum approached his son, "Logan my boy, was that Rory I saw you with?"

"Yeah dad, that was her." Logan did not embellish.

"You should try to get her to join our staff, she is a hell of a talent that one, we have been trying to reach out to her for a while, but she never replies. Now that you are back, maybe you can convince her." He patted his son on the back.

Logan inwardly sighed, ' _figures, now that I am back he hopes I could accomplish what he could not. Rory would never work for him._ ' "Sure dad, I'll see what I can do."

"Excellent, we'll see you Sunday for brunch at the club? Honor and Josh will be there." The men stood waiting for their cars, for all outward appearances this seemed a normal family chat, but Logan was aware of the undertone and intent. This little chat was for the gossips, the people who had speculated too loudly. This was his play at happy family.

"Wouldn't miss it, I have missed so many already having been overseas and all. It will be nice to catch up." He stepped to his vehicle and didn't give his father a chance to respond to the small dig about being so removed from his family until recently. He drove away and allowed his thoughts to drift back to Rory, seeing her again after this time; she had truly blossomed, he always knew she was beautiful, but now she knew it and it showed. He wondered who this Tristan guy was to her, he knew of the Dugrey's, old money like the Gilmore's, Hayden's and his family but he didn't remember being introduced to their son, it was someone he should have known, why the secrecy? He pulled into his garage and was grateful to have a loft instead of a stuffy apartment which his mother no doubt would have decorated, but he had reached out to Stephanie and she had come through beautifully, the redone warehouse floor was perfect, open concept entertaining area with six rooms a master and seven baths the master having been set up with a his and hers, it was opulent for sure, and a bit much for a bachelor, but it had a quirkiness to it he really enjoyed as well as plenty of room to entertain and host his friends after over indulgence. She had even outfitted it with modern artsy furnishings and paintings, it felt welcoming, cozy even, he knew he would enjoy living there. He was restless so he entered the room he had designated as his office and searched first for Dugrey, he found a wealth of information, including that he had done a stint in a military school before attending Harvard then Harvard Law finally joining his family practice with the Hayden's and he also found that he was her frequent escort, although they looked more like friends than lovers. At first, he didn't find much about her, just her articles, a few spec pieces and finally, jackpot, her inheritances, she was worth a small fortune. He was also devastated to find that she had gained this wealth when she lost both her Gilmore grandparents and her much beloved mother. Why hadn't anyone told him, it had been two years, he should have been there. He was furious with his family; how could they do this and his father wanted her to come work for them? He laughed to himself, and his parents said she wasn't cut out to be a Huntzberger, he scoffed, finally feeling tired he shut the computer down and entered his room to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2 - More Questions

It has been two years since he walked away at her graduation and so much has changed. She has been through tragedy and he wasn't there. Can they be there for each other now after being apart so very long? Can they learn to trust again? [Rory and Logan] (AU)

Disclaimer: So not mine, just a musing my mind spun out.

A/N: Thank You all so much for your amazing support! You all make me a better writer, I can't thank you enough.

 **A Whole New World**

 **Chapter 2 – More Questions**

Rory's cell was ringing and she was annoyed that she couldn't find it, it had sunk to the bottom of her bag and this was the second time it was ringing, someone was determined.

"Ah ha! I found you!" She called in triumph as she slid her finger across the screen to accept the call, "This is Rory", she chirped happily although a little breathy from her efforts.

"Hey Ace, did I interrupt a workout? Or is it some other exertion, perhaps with Mr. Dugrey, am I interrupting?" Logan chucked suggestively and pictured her blush at the entendre.

"Logan, you know a Gilmore girl never exercises, it's in the rules, my phone was playing hide and seek in my bag and I was excited to finally find it!" She responded ignoring the reference to Tristan cheerily.

"Well if I can pull you from your victory dance, how about I take you to lunch and you can tell me all about it and anything else you think I should know." He leaned back and pictured her forehead wrinkle as she weighed pros and cons quietly.

"Today? Now, I.." she stammered, made a quick mental pro/con list"Well okay, no time like the present, tell me where to meet you."

Logan fist bumped the air, "Remember Mario's on 5th? How about we meet there in an hour, is that enough time for your mini-freak-out?"

Rory smiled, he knew her well, "More than enough, I'll see you then." She hung up the phone and promptly called Tristan.

"Hey Mary, what can I do for you today, have you yet another event you need for me to play bodyguard?" He laughed.

"No, I am going to lunch with Logan, and I am a little nervous." She explained.

"That boy really doesn't waste time does he, do you think the ink was dry before he saved your number to his phone." He chuckled.

"Don't laugh; this is serious, I am a mess, I mean he is the guy who broke my heart and then left me completely alone. What do I say to him? Do I tell him, should I? What does he know, why could he leave me like that, ugh! I don't know; my head is all jumbled and he is **Logan**!" She rushed nearly breathless in her effort.

"Calm down Mare, I know who it is,believe me I know, but I also know it will all be alright, just tell him _whatever_ you can handle as you can handle it. You are stronger now than then, if he knows you at all, he'll understand. Maybe he can explain his absence as well, maybe, finally, you can both move on." He assured her.

"You know how we ended things, maybe he just ...couldn't, but now maybe I can at least ask him about it. Thanks Tris, you're the best, I have to get going. You're right, I can do this, I am stronger now. I'll let you know how it went." She hung up the phone and hoped for the best.

He was already seated when she got there, she walked into the familiar restaurant and was greeted with many smiles. She loved Mario's and loved more that he remembered how much she loved it. He rose to greet her as she approached the table.

"Hey Ace, lovely as always, good to see you, glad you could make it." He leaned over and kissed her cheek as she took her seat then he sat back down.

"Good to see you too Logan, so much has happened since I last saw you. You look well, how have you been, how is Honor?" She placed her napkin on her lap and nervously reached for her water.

"Ace, it's just me, you don't need to be nervous. Honor is great, pregnant, her first, and she couldn't be happier. I am sorry about your mom and your grandparents. I only found out last night when I was doing a little research in prep for today. Things have been," he paused taking a breath,"complicated." He ran his hand over his face and through his hair.

Her face fell, and she seemed surprised, she thought maybe he didn't know; but how could he not it was national and international news. She made a quick mental pro/con list and decided to take the leap.,"Um, Logan, can we maybe not be here right now, we need to talk in private, I don't live far, we could go there. I need to make a quick call and we can go, okay?" He could hear the nervousness in her voice, it was heartbreaking that she was no longer at ease in his company.

Logan was puzzled, "Sure Ace, whatever you need."

She stepped outside and made a quick call, "Tris, he didn't know, I don't know if I can do this alone, I just hope I can."

Tristan was reassuring, "You can do this Mare, you can, he knows you, he will be a good friend if nothing else. Do you trust him? Do you want me to meet you somewhere?"

"I am taking him to my place, I just can't do this in a restaurant. I am too afraid I'll break down crying, you know. Thanks for the courage Tris, I'll call you if I need you, tell Karen I am sorry for all the calls and thanks for understanding." She sighed.

"Hey, Karen is happy to not have to attend those events and once you are unavailable she will have to, she has just enjoyed just living and not being 'Mrs. Dugrey'." He chuckled. "Be strong Mare and you know we are both here if you need us."

The call ended and she went to Logan's side and he hailed a taxi, she provided the driver with her address. It was a short ride to her building and they were both quiet, he because he had no idea what was in store and she because she was surprised he wasn't told, didn't his parents think he should know. Had he expressed such disdain that they thought he couldn't care. What could possibly have made them keep everything from him?


	3. Chapter 3 - Answers

It has been two years since he walked away at her graduation and so much has changed. She has been through tragedy and he wasn't there. Can they be there for each other now after being apart so very long? Can they learn to trust again? [Rory and Logan] (AU)

Disclaimer: So not mine, just a musing my mind spun out.

A/N: I know you were all frustrated last chapter, I hope you like this one - this is a very emotional chapter it answers questions, and brings up things that may trigger some readers as it deals with mental illness and miscarriage. Two very uncomfortable topics I know, but they are important to this story. Thank you for reading, following, favoriting and just being such amazing support that I keep writing!

 **A Whole New World**

 **Chapter 3 – Answers**

Rory slid her card through the elevator slot then they rode to the top and she used her key to open the apartment, Logan was surprised to say the least, it was an amazing penthouse, elegant and a bit formal, but still very much her. It was not at all what he had expected, but it definitely spoke of her worth and her own style, he liked it. Looking around he saw homey touches, mismatched photo frames held friends and family. There were four bookcases, all packed, of course and a pristine chefs kitchen, he chuckled inwardly that she would have such an excellent kitchen that she would never use.

She indicated him to the the living room and slipped into the kitchen presumably to make coffee. He skimmed the bindings of the books, he recognized ones he had bought her and some from Richard's collection. He was surprised she had a picture that included him with her family at the fateful graduation party. He recalled that had been the last night he felt truly happy. He heard her returning and set it down taking his place on the sofa. She came back in a short while with two cups and sat by him on the couch.

Logan decided to take the lead, make sure she knew where he had been, he didn't fully understand why he was left in the dark, but he could at least give her some insight.

"Ace, let me go first, this is going to sound unbelievable but hear me out," he placed his coffee on the table and turned to face her fully," I was in the hospital a psychiatric facility really - I got a little out of control and I had to get right again. It was worse than you can imagine, worse than the despair I felt in Costa Rica. I had overdosed, yes it was on purpose, my sister found me and I was rushed to the ER, it was touch and go. Just let me assure you, it was all me, my decisions, my bad behavior. After the initial treatment my family was assured Switzerland has the best clinic to treat me, they had me committed, and until this past month, I had no outside contact, except my family and no news. It sounds extreme, but it helped. I was diagnosed as a manic depressive with suicidal tendency's, I take meds now, and will be seeing a therapist regularly, but you should know; I am better but I have to work on it everyday. That is why I didn't know they probably thought it would set me back interfere with my treatment, cause me to - I don't know - relapse? Still if you would have asked Honor she would have told me you needed me. She probably thought I needed to get myself better before I could be there for you, but I would have been there. My god Ace, I know how much they all meant to you, tell me what happened, tell me how you are holding up." He pulled her to him and she sighed frustrated, sad.

Rory righted herself and took a drink of her coffee.

"I am glad you are on the path to recovery, I have had my share of treatments over the past two years to learn to cope, and to bring me here, to the place I can share with you." She took a calming breath, her hands trembled with nerves and he held her hands, she smiled shyly, grateful. "Logan, this isn't easy for me, and I really do't know how to begin." She paused, "Well you know they're gone, mom and my grandparents were killed a month after I graduated Yale, by a drunk driver, I was in the car, and they told me it was national news when I woke up. I was devastated of course, but my dad, Paris, Tristan and so many of my friends even my Hayden Grandmother, have helped me through it, it's still hard and when you said you didn't know earlier, I thought 'how is that even possible?' I thought you had to know. Your parents sent flowers, even Honor sent a condolence and came to visit - a little - but when there was nothing from you, I was so very hurt, devastated really." The pained look in his eyes spoke volumes," Oh god Logan, you really didn't know."

Logan looked at her pain filling his eyes, two years, she had been on her own for two years, why hadn't anyone told him, he would have been there. "Ace, I heard a rumor about some Hartford elite dying in an accident when I came back and one survivor had been in a coma, but Ace, you have to know, I never knew it was you, I would have been here if I'd only have known." He placed his hand on her knee.

"I have to tell you something else and this is the hardest part - I was pregnant, I didn't know, about 12 weeks or so, and I lost the baby, it was your baby - our baby, I am so sorry Logan." She hung her head and softly sobbed, he reached out and pulled her to him. "They told me when I came to, they told me everything at once, I was in shock, numb, I couldn't speak, react or even cry for a while and then Paris - she was so strong - she made me cry, she brought me pictures of my family to force a reaction and made me let it out, I had been so quiet she was scared and all she could think to do was make me cry; help me accept that I had lost them. She told me later, much later, she hated making me cry, but hated more the blank unfeeling doll I was displaying, it freaked her out that I was so numb."

"Ace, I wish I knew why they didn't tell me, I should have been there, I should have been able to mourn our child with you, help you with the loss of your family, I should have been there. Why didn't you or your friends try to call me, ask my family to inform me?" He rocked her and felt his own hot tears.

"Logan, you had walked away just a month before it all happened, I didn't think you would care, sure about the baby but what could you have done, he was gone, we were over and I was so deep in grief, I could barely care for myself for quite a while. Then there was the money, I had to deal with the property, the businesses, and everything, I am so grateful to my dad, Tristan and his wife, I can never repay their kindness. Tristan has been like a brother to me."

"Ace, after you were feeling better, stronger, why didn't you try to find me, tell me? Did you ask my family about me?" He was pleading.

"I don't know, guilt, sorrow, confusion? When I saw you at the party I didn't expect you to seek me out, I thought you hated me and had seen me with Tristan and presumed I was with him; he is good for that, men are afraid to approaceh me because they don't know where he and I stand. You seemed so care free, I never thought you wouldn't have known all this time." She hung her head. "It just hurt me, you looked at me like nothing had happened, like you had just returned after a business meeting and it hurt me to think you of all people could be so uncaring."

"Ace, is there anything else?" You can tell me anything.

"I may not be able to have children, complications in the miscarriage, I don't know, everything after they told me I had lost everyone - I was in a haze, it was like I was under water and their words were just bubbles - I am afraid to ask my doctor for clarification and since I don't date, I haven't felt ready - it really doesn't matter." She sighed and slumped in fatigue, then took a long sip of the now cold coffee. "That's why Tristan accompanies me and not his wife to the events i have to attend people who don't know us, just presume we are together, it keeps the wolves away."

"I am so sorry Ace, I never knew, and I have loved you too long to ever hate you. Is that why you won't work for HPG, because you thought I ignored you? " He reached out and held her hands.

"I don't know why they didn't let you know, did they really think so little of me, they seemed to care I mean your parents were at the funeral, Honor came to visit me in hospital, but you never came, called or even seemed to care, no card or flowers, radio silence. How could they not have told you? I thought you knew and just didn't care or want anything to do with me" She was sad, confused and perplexed. "I couldn't work for HPG because of you, the thought of seeing you there, or even your picture on the company website; broke my heart, I just couldn't do it." She lost composure and began to sob.

He held her to himself, his own tears falling as they mourned everything together. After a while she fell into a shuttering sleep, he carried her to her bed, removed her shoes, pulled the coverlet over her, shut the door and left the room.

He pulled out his phone to make a call, the phone rang only once, "Logan, are you okay, do you need me to come and get you?" Honor rushed out, concern clear in her voice.

"Why didn't you get me back then, she needed me and you left me there. Why didn't you at least tell me so I could let her know where I was? She had lost a child, my child, you didn't think I deserved to know?! I could have at least sent my condolence and would have been prepared, I could have worked with my doctor about it, I could have transferred here, done out patient." he sighed, "You know I am not supposed to have shocks, especially not like this. She needed me, you knew, the parents knew, and you all kept it from me, **_kept her from me_** ; even that she lost my child, our child. I loved this woman more than life itself; still do and you knew she lost her whole family and our child and yet you all left her alone. I never thought you could be as heartless as they are." Logan ran his hand over his hair as he paced.

"I didn't leave her alone, I did all I could for her, what she would let me do. You were sick, you needed to be our priority, the baby was gone, what could you do?" She tried.

"She was alone, you were a pale substitute of who should have been there; **me**. I could have mourned with her, I could have been there. She needed me, I know I needed to get better, but I could have still had treatment, maybe I could have helped her get in therapy, we could have grieved together. Now I don't know, I don't know if I am allowed to grieve. Honor, this is so painful, you knew, I thought of all of them I could trust you to always tell me the truth. I should have been told, been able to prepare at least." He sighed feeling truly alone, "I have to go." He said then disconnected the call before she could reply. He put it on vibrate, set it on the table, removed his shoes and jacket then climbed in bed with her, she snuggled up to him as she always had and he fell fast asleep.


	4. Chapter 4 - The Next Big Thing

It has been two years since he walked away at her graduation and so much has changed. She has been through tragedy and he wasn't there. Can they be there for each other now after being apart so very long? Can they learn to trust again? [Rory and Logan] (AU)

Disclaimer: So not mine, just a musing my mind spun out.

A/N: Dear readers, as most of you know I am usually very light and happy in my writing, this tome is deep, somewhat dark and reflects my mood as I have been unemployed and worried, I wrote this story with more emotion. Don't give up though there is a light at the end of this bumpy tunnel. 3 You have all been so excellent about the deep tone, here is a bit of a lighter chapter.

 **A Whole New World**

 **Chapter 4 – The Next Big Thing**

Rory hadn't slept this well in a long time, not without the sleeping pills, she had completely stopped taking naps, the dreams would haunt her. She only told her therapist about the reoccurring nightmares of the crash, her friends didn't know she remembered so much of it before losing consciousness. The screams, the glass the panic and finally her mother's lifeless eyes, all sparkle and wit gone from them staring into the void. They all thought she was out before her world went to complete shit. They all believed she had been spared the full tragedy of the loss, the actual image of them dying. This was the first sleep in so very long, that she had felt safe and loved. She felt him on her, the weight of his arm over her like it had been years ago. She snugged into him breathing in his scent, cedar and citrus, uniquely Logan. ' _Wait, her mind jumped, why was she in bed with Logan!_ ' She looked down and was still in her dress from earlier, the lack of sun outside her window told her she missed the last part of her work day. ' _How was she in bed, why was Logan in bed with her._ ' She wiggled out of his embrace trying not to wake him, he looked so peaceful. She recalled the conversation, crying in his arms, then she must have fallen asleep and he had sweetly joined her. The discussion had been an emotional one and even though it provided answers it still left so many questions. He began to stir and looked up at her.

"Hey, why did you leave?" His voice sounded heavy from his nap, "That was the best sleep I have had in a long while without meds."

"Logan, why are you still here, what compelled you to _sleep with me_?"Her voice squeaked in an adorable way as she sat on the edge of the bed as he sat up and they reached for each other's hands.

"Rory, you were sad, you needed comfort and love and I still love you \- I never stopped, all this time away, I still love you. If there is any way we can be together I want it." His voice had a pleading tone. "We can take all the time you need do what ever it takes, but I want to be a family with you, if you can't have kids, and you want them, we can adopt, we can use a surrogate, we can do whatever you want, I just want you. I am so sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me most, but let me be here now, let me be here forever."

"Logan, I am not the same woman I was, actually I am quite a complete mess. How can you possibly still love me? You don't know what I've been through, who I am, what I am capable of, you may really dislike this version of me, Rory 2.0 as it were." Rory sounded defeated.

He chucked at her odd reference to the show they used to love to mock."When I crawled in bed with you, you didn't wake up, you cuddled up to me as just you always did, even when I was shitfaced drunk, stunk of whatever bars the guys and I had been to, you would always hold me in your sleep. It was the constant, the comfort we both needed, it is still there." He paused and took a small breath then gazed into her eyes deeply, trying to convey the truth of his words.,"You love me too, it's why you can't date, you love me. I haven't dated anyone either, I was in a therapeutic hospital not a monastery, there was opportunity, but it felt like I would be cheating on you and I could never do that again. The first thought I had when I came to New York was what you were doing, how could I find you and could I get you to forgive my stupid proposal. I had Honor basically find your schedule for me, pathetic and a little stalkery; I know; but that's why I was at that party. _I had to take a chance and see you_. I need you Ace, give us a chance? Can we both put the past hurts behind us and embrace the memories of joy and love? I want to create new memories with you Ace, I always have."

Rory looked into Logan's eyes and saw in them what she always had, _forever_ , "Even if I can't give you an heir? That beautiful child my grandmother predicted with my eyes and your hair."

"Ace, any child we claim will be our heir, hell if you prefer we can adopt your whole town and make them our heirs, I don't give a shit about lineage, just being with you. I am so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me, let me be there now and for all the days we can have."

Rory felt her eyes tearing up, "You'll need to meet Tristan and Karen might not like you much because now she has to attend the functions..." he cut off her ramblings with a kiss, and soon food was again forgotten, clothing divested and they were in the throes of passion, their bodies working purely on memory; he reached into the bedside drawer and stalled, "Ace, there are no condoms."

"Logan, I told you, I haven't been dating so I had no need of them, I am still on the pill though and you say there hasn't been anyone and I haven't, " she paused and blushed at the implication, in truth, it wouldn't be the first time they joined without that protection, but usually it was because they were reckless, drunk or in a place it just wasn't helpful, like a hot tub, pool or bar bathroom; this time it was pure desire as well as lack of preparation,"it should be okay." He kissed her gently and allowed their bodies to become one.

They made love, for the first time in two years they made love to each other, it was not just having sex - as Paris would surely accuse later - no this was intense, deep and passionate. This was the twining of body and souls it was _effulgent*_. It was as if they were never apart, never alone, it was perfection. It was the first time either had felt whole in a very long time. Now spent they fell once again into a deep and uninterrupted sleep.

RLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLRLLRLLRLRLRLRLRLRL

*effulgent: adjective - shining forth brilliantly; radiant. (better known from Buffy when William[before he was Spike] used it is his 'bloody bad poetry' - Fool for Love s5-e7)


	5. Chapter 5 - The Waking Hours

It has been two years since he walked away at her graduation and so much has changed. She has been through tragedy and he wasn't there. Can they be there for each other now after being apart so very long? Can they learn to trust again? [Rory and Logan] (AU)

Disclaimer: So not mine, just a musing my mind spun out.

A/N: Thank you all for being so very accepting of this story, your comments, favoriting, following and support mean so much!

 **A Whole New World**

 **Chapter 5 – The Waking Hours**

Rory awoke and turned to find her bed empty, did she dream it? She patted his pillow, it was still warm, ' _he was still there'_. She rose, stretched and went to her bathroom to freshen up. She poured some water to take her pill, then brushed her teeth, pulled her hair into a loose bun and dressed for work. She walked in to her living room to find him clad only in boxers and talking on his phone, from his tone she guessed it was personal and not business. She walked to the kitchen and smiled to find coffee already made, this felt so safe so familiar she wondered if it was all too good to be true. This past time apart from him had been a nightmare, the worst was behind her, that was true, but telling Logan it had all come back, the grief, the stress the utter loneliness of missing him along with everything else. She checked the clock, if she didn't leave soon she would be late for work. She finished her second cup and set it in the sink.

Logan had ended his call and was watching her with her coffee, she seemed deep in thought and he just hoped it was a good thought, he needed her in his life. He had meant that when he told her as much and he was so angry with his family for not letting him be there when she needed him most. He had even called his sister to meet him at the doctor's office later that day, he didn't trust what he might say unthettered. He gazed at her as she entered the room, she did look different, he now knew why she was sad, broken really, there was a sorrow in her eyes that had not been there when he knew her before, it was an understandable sorrow, but he wanted to be the one to put the light he remembered back in them. He had felt the truth of their connection in the prior evenings events, the clear bond they shared, he truly hoped she had too.

Rory seemed to finally notice him, "Hey", she started casually with a bit of uncertainty in her voice, "Um, I have to work, but it's Friday so I am off tomorrow, I can let Kenny, he's the doorman, know you are here so it'll be okay when you leave and oh, here is a key, lock up, oh and you'll need the card for the elevator." She said handing him the items and trembling, she was so nervous. "I'll also be sure you are on the approved to enter list." She was rambling and he came towards her reaching for her hands.

"Ace, it's just me, I know it's been a while, but it's still us, Logan and Rory, we always belonged together. I have to work today too, and I will put you on the list with my building as well. I'll tell you what, let's try Mario's again, I'll pick you up at say - 7 o'clock for dinner?" He was standing close to her now his hand on her shoulder the other holding her hand gently making circles with his thumb.

She nodded, "That would be nice, but I'll meet you there, I may be late leaving work, since I missed a half day yesterday, and it is walking distance from my office." She sighed and leaned into him. " Logan and Rory, I like that, it seems right."

"Alright Ace, I'll meet you there, _I love you_." He whispered softly that last part to her, as he gently leaned in to kiss her.

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Rory rode the elevator down, her mind a whir, 'he loves me, he _loves_ me? **HE LOVES ME**!' she picked up her phone and hit speed dial #3, it rang and was promptly answered.

"Rory are you okay? Did something happen to Tristan?" Karen rushed.

"Oh, god Karen no! Nothing like that, ' _I suck'_ , I usually call Tristan and have him hand you the phone; I am such a terrible friend, forgive me and we can go shopping for lunch?" Rory had an apologetic tone.

"Ror, never apologize for calling me, ever, and lunch well shopping is always a yes, just tell me when and while we shop you can fill me in as to the why." Karen laughed in good humor.

"I just feel bad sometimes, I call Tristan all the time, it's not that I don't consider you a friend..." Rory was cut off.

"Stop, it's beyond okay - I promise. I get it, you have known me for just a few months and Tristan since you were 16, I am just happy to be a part of the circle and hey, you protected me from the big bad society for longer." Karen's rant faded.

"Okay, we are both remiss, I get it. Just meet me at my office at one and we can grab a quick bite, I can fill you in and then you can help me shop, if you find any pretty's they are on me as well." Rory laughed and they agreed to a time and ended the call.

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At 6:20 Rory found herself in the prettiest lingerie she had ever purchased, thigh-high's and black stiletto heels, trying to decide between the black dress and the red one, they both said 'come and get it' by Karen's appraisal when they had met for shopping over lunch, but is that really all she wanted to tell Logan? Was this just about scratching a long-neglected itch? It wasn't that there hadn't been offers, just that none were who she wanted to scratch it. It was times like this she missed her mother the most, she would help her sort if these were old feelings or if they just never stopped. She sighed and decided to go with the red, it really made her skin shine and her eyes pop, she donned the necklace Luke had given her mother that Valentine's so long ago, her tennis bracelet and slipped some diamond earrings her grandparents had given her in her ears, she appraised the whole look, then slipped on a jacket and went downstairs to see what fate had to offer. The drive was short and the driver helped her from the car, she left her coat with the clerk and was led to their table.

Logan watched her approach and took note of the men staring - no ogling was a better word - as she walked towards him, some suffering smacks from wives or girlfriends. He stood and placed his hand on her chair openly admiring her efforts, "Ace, you look - WOW! I mean you are always beautiful but tonight, you look amazing." He helped her to her seat and then waited while she placed the napkin in her lap, Logan was pleased that she still blushed at a compliment.

"Thank you", she demurred, "You look pretty good yourself." She winked as the waiter poured the water then showed her the wine bottle, she smiled, he had remembered their favorite, and nodded to have it poured.

Once that part of the service was complete, Rory opened her menu and Logan began, "Look Rory, I want you to know, last night, it meant something, well everything really, I know we have been apart, I know I wasn't there when you needed me most, but I am here now, and for as long as you will have me."

"Logan, I am so happy to hear that, I was worried that this was goodbye and that might be the end", she paused and noticed his expression of disbelief. "You have to know, going through what I did, losing everything, it did change me, I want us to get to know each other again before we make life long pledges." She saw him relax, she also noticed he had not touched his wine. "The medicine, you can't drink it, can you?"

He smiled, "You caught me, no I can't drink it or any alcohol, but I can still watch you enjoy our favorite wine, I love the way you savor the flavor," he lightly laughed." You were always too observant, it is what makes you so good at what you do."

She smiled, "Logan, you know I don't ever need to drink to have a good time with you. All I ever needed to have a good time with you was ... well - you."

He beamed, "Good to know, may I order for you?"

"Always" She reached across and held his hand as he placed orders for both of them. "I know this is an odd question, but you had scotch at the event, how was that even possible?"

He smirked, "You know me -walk-talk and pay my way out of anything, I bribed the bartender to give me tea in the tumbler with just a splash of scotch for scent, a little won't hurt if it's diluted, and at my first event, in two years; it would have looked odd if I didn't drink; appearances, Ace, appearances."

They spoke easily of her town and how even though she rarely visited, it still felt like home, his experience at the clinic and he confessed that he had lost touch with Finn and Colin, she confirmed that she had too. They reminisced about old times and old friends. She went on about her friends and how Paris and Doyle were married and that she was soon to begin her medical internship. They both shuddered at the thought of Paris as a doctor. The meal was enjoyed and she invited him back to her place for coffee. He paid the bill and called for his car. They rode in silence as they approached her home, he noticed she seemed nervous.

"Talk to me Ace, what is running through that pretty and busy head of yours." His hand entwined with hers and he raised it to his lips placing a kiss upon it.

"It's just, this - us, it doesn't feel real, I feel as if I am dreaming and when I wake, I will be all alone again." She sighed, "I'm sorry, that is too heavy right? We should just be reacquainting things; keeping it light with each other and I am bringing it down."

The car came to a stop and he helped her from the car then retrieved his bag from the trunk. He led her into the building and she used her card to direct the elevator to her floor, she was fidgety the whole ride up. They opened the door, he set his bag inside and then walked her to the sofa.

"Ace, you can't possibly bring me down, I want to know what you are thinking, even your fears about us. This has been a rough time for both of us, for different reasons - granted, but we have both been through something intense, yet here we are. It's like we are fated, I know it's soon, but I also know it is so right that we are together." He pulled her to him and kissed her sweetly at first then with intensity until the need to breath overwhelmed them. He reached up and cupped her face then placed a simple kiss on her lips, "You are it for me, you are all I ever wanted and I can go as fast or as slow as you want, but know this, I am not going anywhere ever again. If you told me to leave I would just sit right down and talk until we solved it. That is something I learned in treatment, I can't run, I need to face my problems and work through them. Even my issues with my family, right now I am furious with them for not letting me be there for you, I understand they wanted me healthy, but you needed me." He sighed and kissed each cheek.

"Logan, I hear you and I would be lying if I said I hadn't been in therapy for what happened as well and I understand the need to work things out, talk, yell, scream if needed - but be honest. Truth, I still go more than occasionally, I can't put it on my friends all the time, I need to give them space and not be so clingy and needy. I don't know what I would have done without them, but I don't want to find out by oversharing either." She looked at him and he could see the insecurity, loneliness and sorrow reflected in her eyes.

"Cling to me Ace, and I promise I will cling to you, we can be like kudzu vines and cling to each other. Live with me in our enchanted cottage, if you want I can even find one with a blind pianist as a neighbor." He smiled at her with a knowing grin.

"You remembered? I can't believe you remembered. Do you think such a cottage exists and that, when we are married, we can add our names to the window pane?" She held his hands to her heart.

"Ace, are your proposing, already, so soon? If so I say yes, I would marry you in a heartbeat. I mean it, you are it for me." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her with intensity. He helped her up and retrieved his bag from the door, then guided her to the bedroom. He then opened his bag and placed a familiar box in the bedside table.

She blushed prettily, "An overnight bag and a large box of condoms, somebody is sure of himself."

"Ready for anything Ace, you know the rules, ready for anything." With that they were quickly divested of clothing and tangling the sheets with practiced passion.

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The movie I am referencing is 'The Enchanted Cottage starring Dorothy McGuire and Robert Young from 1945, beautiful story, check it out.


	6. Chapter 6 - Together

It has been two years since he walked away at her graduation and so much has changed. She has been through tragedy and he wasn't there. Can they be there for each other now after being apart so very long? Can they learn to trust again? [Rory and Logan] (AU)

Disclaimer: So not mine, just a musing my mind spun out.

A/N: This is a very short chapter, sorry, but it really works for what comes next.

 **A Whole New World**

 **Chapter 6 – Together**

They had been together for several months, they had gone to therapy apart and together, they had worked with her friends and his family to a point of understanding, a point of almost harmony. Logan had taken over for Tristan as her escort and Karen would tease him about outing her to society. Their life was good, moving forward, they had even been in contact with Colin and Finn, things were beginning to become normal. Logan knew things with his family were fractured, always had been, but their keeping him from her when she needed him most was something he was still having trouble forgiving them for. He had spoken to Honor and heard her story, his father and mother as well, he just didn't care that they thought it was best, he should have been able to decide, to choose, they took that from him. Logan was worried about Rory, they had recently moved in together, a lovely manor in Hartford, and she seemed distant, tired. He knew the move would be emotional, and they scheduled extra appointments to help ease the pain, Hartford was where her grandparents had lived and died after all.

"Ace, what's wrong babe, we promised always to talk, are you okay?" He held her closely and she sighed deeply.

"It's October." She said simply.

Logan let that sink in, he remembered July had been rough because of the anniversary of the deaths, but this was her birthday month and Halloween, she had always loved October. It was 'holiday eve' the first big holiday that led to Thanksgiving, Christmas and then New Year, she loved all things holiday. Then he remembered her mom's quirky traditions, one being reciting the story of her birth. How she hung candy apples from her tree, the over the top holiday lights and the bonfire in Stars Hollow for New Year's Eve. Had she done any of it since they all past, what about the annual Christmas gala her grandparents hosted for the Literacy Project, had that gone away as well? He didn't ask out loud, not yet anyway.

"You miss your mom, your traditions, don't you?" He soothed as she collapsed into him and sobbed into his chest. These were different tears, not mournful as they had been in July, these spoke of the loss a child has for its mother. He felt how very much she missed Lorelai in those tears. "What can I do?"

She didn't speak, just snugged into him, then pulled away and led him to the bedroom, there she divested herself of her clothes and him of his, then she crawled into bed and indicated he climb in bed beside her and then he just held her, it wasn't sexual, it was different, bonding, like she was a baby duck trying to imprint and he wanted her to. He wanted to be her harbor, her safety, her family. Together they fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.

It was odd waking in this state, she was nestled to him in a way that felt far more intimate than sex. He didn't know if he should wake her, if she was ready to talk after her collapse. He knew they needed to talk to make new traditions, but he knew she had to be ready to move forward. She was still sleeping, pressed against him, her hand on his chest, but at least her breathing was calm and even. He gently stroked her hair and she sighed into him. He did not want to leave the bed so he began making a list in his head, call Tristan arrange a birthday party, call Luke and Sookie about Thanksgiving; then he sighed, call Honor about Christmas eve, or maybe call the DAR to see if they could host the Gilmore gala, that could be cathartic for her, if she hasn't already been doing it. He wished he knew more about the past two years that he had missed, but she and the friends were mum about it, like it would hurt her to speak of it. He needed to find out what happened in the two years they were apart. She had been so forthcoming with how she felt now, how she felt before but had evaded the time she had lost her family and the grieving process, it was frustrating to him. It had been months, she lived with him, Tristan and Paris had begged his patience; but after last night, he just needed to know.

She murmured in her sleep, "It's okay Justin, it's okay." She made a shushing sound then drifted back to sleep.

He wondered who Justin was and why she sounded so gentle with him. Something was missing, she was keeping a secret and he was determined to know what it was.


	7. Chapter 7 - Justin

It has been two years since he walked away at her graduation and so much has changed. She has been through tragedy and he wasn't there. Can they be there for each other now after being apart so very long? Can they learn to trust again? [Rory and Logan] (AU)

Disclaimer: So not mine, just a musing my mind spun out.

A/N: Caution, this deals with a grieving process called 'phantom baby syndrome' some women experience after miscarriage. It may be difficult for some to read, feel free to skip it and move on to the next chapter. Thank you all for your support, this is one of my more intense stories and I am glad it is so well received.

 **A Whole New World**

 **Chapter 7 – Justin**

Rory woke and took a breath, she was still in Logan's arms, he hadn't left. Justin was still gone, but he hadn't left. She kissed him gently then rose to refresh herself, brushed her teeth then got dressed in a simple skirt and blouse.

"I have to go out for a little while, is that okay?" She seemed nervous and almost guilty.

"Let me get dressed, I can go with you. Where are you headed." Logan rose from the bed and began to prepare himself.

She turned her ankle like a child fibbing, "It's nothing really, just a place I need to get to, I won't be long, then we can spend the day together."

Logan looked at her, she seemed off, "Ace, you can tell me anything, is this about Justin? Who is he, are you going to see him?"

She froze, a look of fear in her eyes, "How do you know about Justin? Who told you, I am better now really, I promise." She was quaking.

Logan had just finished dressing and stepped over to her his tone soothing at her obvious alarm. "Just tell me, I promise I am here for you." He guided her to the bench at the foot of the bed and helped her sit.

She looked down and he noted that she looked ashamed, "Justin is what I named the baby, he would be 18 months now, I sometimes write to him in the park, the doctor says it's normal to miss a child and we all grieve differently, but it bothers my friends so I have let them think I stopped. Are you mad at me?"

"We were going to have a son? How do you know this and why Justin?" Logan looked at her with concern in his eyes.

"No, I don't know, not really, the doctor just said I lost a baby, in my heart though it felt like it would have been a boy and I always liked the name Justin, I don't really know why. He would have been born that December, I imagined he had your hair, my eyes and that mischievous grin of yours. I remember that first Christmas, I was shopping and I came across a baby store, I wandered in and was in awe of all the tiny clothes, shoes and of course the books. I don't know what came over me, but I found myself buying baby's first Christmas items, and then I went to another store and bought a journal. After that I went to a park, I met a young girl she had a newborn little baby boy and she let me hold him, we chatted a bit then I gave her the clothes and books and left the park. When I came home I held myself and cried then I wrote to our baby and apologized for losing him. I wrote to you and told you all about the beautiful baby we would have had. That night I woke up, I could swear I heard a baby crying, I walked all over the house and then I found my journal and the crying stopped. I wrote to him of how I would have rocked him to sleep, how we would take walks in the park. This happened for several nights, and every time I picked up the journal he would stop crying. I had many nights where I slept restlessly as if I had a baby in the house, Tristan noticed I was jumpy and tired, Karen noticed I kept looking around for something. They encouraged me to talk to them, to talk to my doctor about whatever was going on, but to please not hold it in." She stalled.

He petted her hands, "Go on, it's okay I am right here. Tell me all about it."

Her voice wavered, " I began to avoid them and I took some time off of work, I felt I needed to stay and be with the baby, only there was no baby, just my runaway mind making me feel his presence. I kept writing and writing, telling you both about each other, and I could feel him in my arms, I could smell his sweet baby scent. I went on like this for weeks, then Lane, you remember her?" He nodded, "She came in and found me rocking and writing well talking as if I was holding a baby. She asked me who I was talking to and when I told her Justin she became concerned. It was close to March now, and I had missed quite a bit of work, I had missed appointments, dinners, and had just been avoiding people and staying alone. Lane called my therapist and I was referred to a specialist, I was having delusions and thought Lane took my baby away. I had to go in for observation and learn to let go, to see that there was no baby, it was okay for me to work, to meet my commitments I wasn't abandoning the baby I never had." She was crying now, "The baby I wanted so badly because it was part of you and me and as long as I had him, I hadn't truly lost you or us. As long as I could feel him, I still had purpose, I wasn't so very alone in the world."

"Oh Ace, I am so sorry you went through that, so very sorry you felt so alone and needed to be loved and to give love so desperately. Did you know Frida Kahlo wrote to her lost child as well? "She shook her head no. "I know you went through so much more, but you were grieving and you were alone, I can see how you just didn't want to be alone, but you are not alone anymore, you have me, I am here for you Ace, I promise I am not going anywhere." He held her to his heart and ran his fingers through her hair. "Do you still hear him?"

"Not really, but sometimes I just wish I still did. I was just going to call my doctor and talk about it, last night when I was so sad, I thought I heard him crying and then you were there so loving and I felt so badly about keeping him from you I was so very confused again. I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to deal with this, that's why I was going to see my doctor."

"Of course, I should deal with this, I should know everything, I want to be there. If you want, if it's okay I would like to read the journals. I know you went through a terrible ordeal, let me in Ace, let me help you as I should have from the beginning." He raised her chin to him and kissed her gently. "I mean it Ace, let me take care of you, I am your family now. I know I can't replace Lorelai or your grandparents but maybe I can fill a little of the void for you."

"You aren't ashamed of me for breaking down like that, you still want to be with me?" She looked at him with concerned eyes.

"Ace, you were and actually are still grieving, you loss was traumatic, even your doctor says you have PTSD and press yourself too hard it was one way you could cope. I love you and if that helped, even a little, if it gave you comfort and helped you get through than you needed to go through it. I don't think any less of you for wishing our child had lived. I miss the baby too you know? I wonder what he or she would have looked like, grown up to be, but I have you and the hope that maybe one day we can find out together with another child." He soothed.

"Maybe I should call another doctor instead, maybe if I understand about what happened and if I can have a baby I can put the loss of our first one behind me. Will you come to that appointment with me? I know most men don't want to go to their girlfriend's gyno check but will you come so you can know too?" She looked at him hopefully.

"Absolutely Ace, I have no idea what I am in for but In Omnia right? It'll be an adventure, and one I will gladly take with you." He held her closely, " Feeling better now?"

"You know what, I am, and if you want to read the journals, I am okay with that too. Thank you, Logan, for coming back, for still loving me. Thank you." She held him closely then leaned in and kissed him deeply and with promise.

"You don't have to thank me Ace, I am just grateful you let me."


	8. Chapter 8 – Moving Forward

It has been two years since he walked away at her graduation and so much has changed. She has been through tragedy and he wasn't there. Can they be there for each other now after being apart so very long? Can they learn to trust again? [Rory and Logan] (AU)

Disclaimer: So not mine, just a musing my mind spun out.

A/N: Thank you for the acceptance of the last chapter, it was so hard to write and so well received.

 **A Whole New World**

 **Chapter 8 – Moving Forward**

The pair sat in the doctors office awaiting the test results, they could have had them over the phone, but Logan had insisted they meet face to face so they could ask about options and have their questions fully answered. The doctor walked into the room, she was a slender older woman, perhaps mid-fifties with a cropped cut of red hair and deep brown eyes. Her face was soft and she had an air of gentleness.

"Hello Rory, Logan nice to see you again, it is so nice when a partner takes active interest in fertility concerns." She said shaking their hands then taking her seat across from them, "Well, we have done a thorough examination and I can see no reason you can't have children. There is some scaring and if the fetus attaches there, you may have to be put on bed rest and be monitored more carefully, but odds of that are slim. You are young and otherwise healthy, so when you are ready things should be just fine. Are yo looking to begin soon?"

"Yes" Logan said as Rory said 'No'.

"I see", the doctor replied,"Well, as soon as you both agree I look forward to seeing you both here again. Did you have any questions?"

Rory lightly bit her lip trying to figure out her question, "Are you sure? I mean the ER doctor said there were complications, I don't remember a lot after that - but he left me with the feeling things would be difficult." Logan entwined her hand in his reassuringly.

"Well, he was giving you a broad opinion, one I wish was not practiced in the ER, they want you to follow up with your personal doctor, so they sometimes will make dire and cryptic remarks. I am sorry it caused you such distress, but I assure you the tests we took show you are perfectly healthy and aside from the off chance the fetus attached to a scared area, you will have no trouble I can forsee. Does that answer your question?"

Rory nodded, "Thank you doctor, that not only answered my question it made me feel a bit better."

"Yes, thank you doctor, I feel reassured as well." Logan confirmed.

"Well if there isn't anything else, I'll see you in three years, unless you have need of me before then." She smiled warmly at the loving couple.

The pair rose and said their goodbyes. They exited to the car and rode in quite contemplation.

"Logan, when do you want children; before or after we are married?" Rory turned slightly towards him as he drove home.

"I would prefer we were married, I don't want any question of paternity to be made, but if it happened sooner, I would be just as happy and ready to defend your name as well as our child." He assured her releasing her hand to trail across her arm giving her shivers. "When do you want children?"

"I guess after we are married would be best, but if it happened sooner, I would be okay with it too, and you know there is no way the baby would belong to anyone but you." She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it.

They were quite the rest of the drive home.

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Logan came home from the office and was pleasantly surprised to find Rory in the kitchen making a salad, steaks were resting on the counter and he could smell the potatoes roasting in the slow cooker.

"Wow Ace, what's the occasion and when did you learn to cook like this?" He plucked a cherry tomato from the basket and popped it in his mouth.

"Sookie had been teaching me, I used to go down about once a month for a lesson and Luke's coffee, she said it would be cathartic and I do find I enjoy the end results. I haven't been down since we got together, but she understands. Honestly, I like it when you cook, but I wanted to surprise you tonight." Rory explained as she mixed a dressing in the carafe.

"Well let's see if I need to find a way to keep you having lessons, this all looks terrific. I can't believe you haven't cooked for me before. Who else has enjoyed your talents?" He helped her to plate the meal and they carried them to the table, she had already set a pitcher of tea and glasses on the table, the sideboard had the ice bucket.

"Just Tristan and Karen mostly and occasionally Lane and Luke, but I'd like to have more lessons, I miss her and she is doing a great thing running the Inn and all. I didn't realize until I was shopping we haven't been to Stars Hollow since getting together. Of course I have talked to her and Luke so they know we are together, but nothing replaces being there, you know?" She poured tea for both of them and sat to enjoy the meal.

"Actually Ace, I am glad you brought that up, going to see Sookie and Luke, getting to a type of normal, I was wondering if you would like to host the Literacy Project gala your grandparents hosted every year, I checked around and it has been left to languish." He carved a piece of steak and mmmm'd. "Okay, Sookie is continuing lessons, this is the best steak I have ever had, hands down!"

She laughed, "You just like steak and I found the perfect rib eye, it is actually aged 45 days, I knew you would just love it. It loses that red taste and gains such a meat taste, I just knew you would love it."

"You surprise me Ace, talking about meat like I talk wine, who knew aged meat was this delectable, Sookie; and now you - I guess." Logan waited for her response to the gala.

"Literacy, is that what the Christmas gala was for? My mom acted like it was nothing important, all she ever cared about was the apple tarts. I never paid much attention to what was being said, I was really a very spoiled child. I can't believe I let such an important project languish." She took a sip of her tea wishing it was stronger. " I never knew about all my grandmother championed, and when they died, ... I just wanted to hide, I am such a disappointment." she lamented. "I have been so self absorbed, what would they think of me, they used to be so proud and now I think they would be so ashamed."

Logan sighed inwardly, "You could never be a disappointment and you are so far from spoiled I can't even begin... you have been grieving, but I think taking on being the champion of a few of Emily's projects might do you some good. Your family would understand your need to grieve, but I think now its time to move forward. No offence Ace, but you don't seem to like your job and in truth you really don't need it. Why not try and help those less fortunate?"

Rory considered what he was saying, "When I worked with Emily at the DAR in college, I was so self-obsessed I forgot to look at what she was trying to show me. I know my mother hated that I worked at the DAR, but I was good at it, and I do miss the ladies, they tried to reach out to me, but I have been a bit of a hermit." She paused and bit her lip, "Logan, why are you doing this, all of it, I am such a mess and you are here caring for me, helping me move on, just all of it?"

"What part of I love you don't you understand? Honestly; we have both been through so much these past years, but we are together now, we have each other to lean on, grow with and be the person we were meant to be together. I have told you Ace, you are it for me, game over, I don't want any woman but you. If that means I have to help you get in the swing of this after the most devastating part of your life, then I do that." Logan rose from the table and gathered the dishes giving her time to think. He returned with bowls of ice cream topped with chocolate sauce and sprinkles.

"You are amazing, you know that, right?" She paused and enjoyed a spoonful of the frozen treat, then looked up at him with a realization, he said I love you all the time and she hardly said it back, "Logan?" He paused to give her his attention, "I love you too, I am sorry I haven't said it often, but I do I really do." She felt lighter in the revelation.

Logan smiled, "I know you love me Ace, you never have to say it, I feel it in your being here."


	9. Chapter 9 - Becoming Rory

It has been two years since he walked away at her graduation and so much has changed. She has been through tragedy and he wasn't there. Can they be there for each other now after being apart so very long? Can they learn to trust again? [Rory and Logan] (AU)

Disclaimer: So not mine, just a musing my mind spun out.

A/N: This may be a controversial chapter, but I think if Rory had been true to herself this is a plausible turn of events.

 **A Whole New World**

 **Chapter 9 – Becoming Rory**

Rory took Logan's advice to heart, sure she knew it wasn't what Lorelai would have wanted for her, but it was something she wanted for herself, she stood at the door of the DAR, it had been a very long time since she had been there she took a breath, remembered her grandmother had been president and then walked in head held high.

"Rory darling, is that you?" The voice of Margret Osgood greeted her with the two-sided air kiss. Margaret was a picture with her slender build, black wavy pixie cut and glittery green eyes."It has been simply forever. What ever can we do for you darling? Are you enjoying your new home? Oh, and do tell how is Logan, do I hear wedding bells?"

"Margret, lovely to see you and apologies for being remiss in my participation. Our home is lovely, Logan is well, thank you for asking, and maybe - one day." Rory responded demurely.

Margaret seemed appeased by all response and moved forward, "Well darling, under the circumstances, your absence was completely understandable. You seem to remember our calendar though, care to join the winter planning?" Margaret linked arms, patted Rory's hand affectionately and the women entered the conference room. "Ladies, look who I found wandering the hall, we can look forward to some interesting ideas from this one, she is the genius behind the Hollywood Canteen themed benefit for our boys abroad that is still spoken of today. It even brought the Huntzberger's money to the table and they didn't reserve one." she tittered at her joke, "She is a treasure this one, won an Abigail Adams her first year as a member and I know she will do Emily's memory proud."

Rory blushed at the compliment and took a seat at the table accepting the offered tea and sandwiches. She looked around, several of the women she knew but others she had no idea. She hoped that they could accept her, she wanted to host the gala for her families memory. The ladies chatted about various events and affairs, she commented when appropriate or when directly questioned and then when the opportunity arose Rory advanced her query.

"Well ladies, as you know that the Literacy Project Christmas gala has languished since my grandparents passed. Logan and I would like to host it this year, if there is no objection?" Rory looked around trying to exude more confidence than she had at that moment.

"Logan, as in Huntzberger, darling of course." Lottie Fields, a somewhat portly woman who was known for wearing a bit too much Chanel, practically squealed with glee, "So rumors are true you are back with him? That is wonderful, Emily would be so happy, she was so disappointed when you two ended things. The gala will be marvelous, we should secure the Rose room, it will be the hit of the season to be sure. What then are you going to do for the return of the most missed gala? It will have to be a rave."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence, filling the Rose room will be a challenge, but I think I am up to it, as a tip to my mother's fancy; I thought we could use 'Once Upon a Time' as the focus and the tables could each represent a specific children's book chosen by the party sponsoring the table, the Gilmore table will be Lewis Carole's Alice in Wonderland and the Huntzberger table will be, 'The Pushcart War', I have spoken to the Hayden's and they have chosen my sister's favorite, "Goodnight Moon" and my friends have all committed to tables and will let me know the theme shortly so we already have over fifteen tables committed. My plan is that we would offer choices from both classics and Newbery award winners, food would be the traditional Christmas fare, goose, turkey, a roast, seasonal roasted vegetables and for dessert an assortment of cupcakes all themed again to match the tables, coordinated by Chef Sookie St James from the Dragonfly. Entertainment will be a big band ala 'Benny Goodman' my grandfather so loved; he loathed 'Glen Miller'," she giggled as did the ladies, "It would be whimsical, but I think it would entice people to come out. In addition to the generous donation sure to be made to the Literacy Project; copies of the books would be sent to local children's shelter libraries; well what do you all think?"

"That is simply wonderful Rory, so youthful and clever, it may even entice some of the younger members to participate, especially when they know you and your friends will be there." Abigail Haven enthused, "You are a marvel, Margaret is right you will do Emily proud."

Soon the ladies were all excitingly talking about the possibilities.

Rory spent an enjoyable afternoon with the DAR ladies and was actually excited about planning the event, Lottie and Abigail even agreed to help her coordinate and of course she would call upon Lacey and her team; things were good, they were looking up and for the first time in quite a while, she felt normal even a bit happy in her endeavors. Logan was right, she hadn't enjoyed writing; even before they were gone and here was an opportunity to do something to give back. She drove the streets of Hartford for the first time in a long time, longer than she could remember without feeling the utter loss of her family. She even drove past the old house, that had proven too difficult to let go of, so it was rented and managed by a service as was her mother's home in Stars Hollow, Luke couldn't live there without her and returned to his diner apartment. Her grandparents and mother's things were in a secure storage, temperature controlled, the only thing she had easily parted with was their clothing as well as most of the newer linens and such, the DAR ladies had convinced her to save the antique linens and guided her through the inventory process to catalog her inheritance, they had even offered to assist with her mother's home, but she declined, not wishing to have that bit of scandal in the wind, opting instead for the assistance of her father and friends. She parked across the street and marveled at the home her grandparents had shared for so long, she recalled the dinner when grandpa kept correcting the docent and how helpful the DAR ladies and her friends had been in sorting it all, they had all been so supportive and she was truly grateful for the help in such a desperate time. She looked at the home her grandparents had lived in she knew she wanted it to be her home too. As she approached the house she and Logan shared she could not help but compare the two. Their house was more modern than the Gilmore manor and had less room to entertain as well as fewer bedrooms. She really looked at the home she and Logan had agreed upon, not without some lengthy discussion and realized although it was a nice home, they might want to discuss moving to the statelier manor when the lease ran out on the tenants. She decided to discuss it with Logan, but she felt her children should really be raised there, now that the doctor had confirmed that it may be difficult and bed rest may be required, but she should still be able to have them. Children, she was wanting children, who knew spending the afternoon with the DAR could be so healing? She couldn't wait to tell Logan, she wanted to move and she was ready for the next step. She was ready to take on the mantle of Mrs. Huntzberger, she wanted all of it and she wanted it sooner than later. She was feeling the healing effects of love, letting herself love again. She smiled, 'm _om would be beside herself and grandma giddy I am going to marry Logan Huntzberger and serve in the DAR.'_ Her heart skipped a beat as she let the warmth of the feeling sweep over her.

Rory entered the house and could smell the heavenly scents coming from the kitchen, she set her things down and made her way to the kitchen. Logan looked up from his efforts and took note of her smile.

"Well Ace, by the look of you - things went well at the DAR? Are we hosting our first gala?" He turned down the flame and moved towards her to share an embrace.

Rory accepted his hug and kissed him sweetly, he then turned and continued cooking. She decided to dive right in, "Logan, how would you feel about living in the Gilmore house?"

"Which one, the one here in Hartford or Stars Hollow?" He questioned stirring the pot.

"The one here, in Hartford, it has more room to entertain and I want our kids to grow up there..."She started but he turned off the flame and was by her in a step pulling her into his embrace and kissing her with all he was worth. They kissed until they nearly felt like bursting for want of air.

"Wow Ace! Kids, you want kids - does this mean you are ready to get married?" Logan gasped out.

"Yes, if that's a proposal yes! I want to marry you, have babies with you and live with you all the days we have." She kissed him fiercely.

They pulled apart and he placed his hands below her shoulders to still her. "Vermont - lets call my parents, Honor our friends and fly to Vermont we can do it this weekend and celebrate the upcoming holidays as husband and wife. What do you say Ace?"

Logan looked at her and was pleased to see the light in her eyes, she looked happy well at least happier than he had seen her in a long while.

"Let's do it - Vermont; I love the idea. It's so pretty and we can be married right away!" She leaned up and kissed him her hear beating rapidly. She felt his love wash over her and allowing happiness to return at last. She knew there would still be some times of crushing pain - but she also knew he would be there. She had him, he was her family; finally she felt as if she was no longer alone.

*End*

A/N: This feels like the right place to end it, thanks to all who have followed, made this a favorite and most of all thank you to all who left comments. I have a new story almost ready to publish so I'll be back with another story soon. Cheers All!


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